I never thought I’d become this person. Constantly craving the attention of other, but unfortunately I tie it to my self worth. I see how boys treat my friends and then me…I’m just the kid sister. But why should they treat me as anything more, you know? When I look like this. When I feel like this. I’ve spent the past couple weeks trying to drown my sorrows in cheap liquor. I’ve tried to be a bad girl because that’s what boys want. But that isn’t me. This person I’m trying to be isn’t me. As much as I hate it, I am the good girl, I am the kid sister, and I’m going to go through my whole life as such. I’ve known one man in my life who has seen me differently than everyone else. And I need to get to a place where I can see myself as he does. I’m not trying to be self deprecating or fish for compliments. I just want to feel good again. I want to feel worth it. It’s a constant struggle but I’m putting my foot down. I’m going to stop comparing myself to others because I am not like everyone else, I’m unique, and I like to think in a good way. I’m going to stop drinking, stop partying, stop trying to change how people look at me. I’m going to stop trying to be someone else and just be me. It’s going to be hard getting back to the place where I feel like it’s okay to be myself, because I’ve hated the person I am for so long, but I’m going to get there slowly. It just takes time and time starts now.